entry 2: lazy day

i came over to Gabriels. eeeh, it was a little unprompted,i kind of abused his spare house key (used for EMERGENCIES) but after about three years, his moms utterly unphased to my many random entrances lol. sweet lady she is,still offering food or goes out of her way to make treats for the intruder. well,another son in her eyes. she made chocolate chip cookies today,my favorite :) she says she likes me around for this exact reason hahah, since she hardly has the chance to bake 'cause Gabs has the opposite of a sweet tooth. i remember getting him plain bread for his 15th birthday and it being suuuuper anti-climactic. this guy...

after having a couple delightful bites and thanking her,promising a taste tester for her next baking ventures, i made my way to Gabriel's bedroom. the house wasnt like, millionaire big, but it was big enough to give my legs its hike.

when i walked up to the second floor, i started to sway my head along to a distant waltz,notes dancing a cabeceo with the spirit of 1945. there was only one guy i know that can revive the classics with his musical hands, so i immediately knew it was him. posture hunchbacked and spine breaking but plays like a God. i sat next to him for a while as i watched a private concert for the pianists own ears,before he started playing songs that i could sing along to. Frank Sinatra, NKC... but we had so much fun with Billy Joel's Piano Man. i practically belted that chorus, but of course, his piano was louder, much sweeter.cant overthrow a king in his domain!

he had been working on learning an undertale song for me (hopes and dreams. still one of the best soundtracks out there) but he wont show me until hes perfected it.what a perfectionist. kiddingkidding

we then lazed around in his bedroom,even though he insisted that we play chess.i hateeeee playing chess with him!!!! it would just give him another ego boost.that might be my skill issue though, its not entirely his fault, oh but he knows that hes good llllol. so, we ended up watching my favorite movies together and he taught me a few things about shots... the dutch angle, some camera movements (dolly-ing?)... quite the hardcore cinephile,you can ask him for movie reccs, but looks like hes been doing his own research.

i told him that he should be a director or something and that he could compose music for his films. he told me hes already dead set on becoming a priest,nothing can shake his faith hahah. 

movies, movies, movies... a reflection of ourselves. all your likes and dislikes in a movie comes back to your interpertation of it. so when they say, your life is a movie, they arent entirely wrong.how would you interpret your situation?

entry 1: ruins

ive scoured through a few sylvan trails by the oakwood area, and let me tell you, it was quite painful... my soles sunk into a damp slurry of dirt for every step of the way and i could feel the pearly droplets tapping lightly, but persistently, atop of my hood from the leaves dripping above. elms.sugarberries. and looots of sycamore compared to the meadow i visited a week ago.it got annoying after three drops or four (guess who would not survive chinese water torture), id much rather it rain heavier, because then id have an excuse for sleeping in all day. im kidding. i put myself through this willingly, afterall,the weather was partly curious with the perfect amount of chill.i just had to go out today, alright? allllll-right (no you are all left)

some dirt paths were completelyyy tucked by wild grass, i had to carve a few landmarks on my own when they seem to end, make my own way when none were visible.if you see a circle with a huge x on a trunk, that was probably me. hey. following a couple of taller trees and thicker branches that led south, i found a ruined structure. a large chunk of the bricks bitten into by nature herself, the bare wall slightly lopsided now, the rest of the blocky crumbs strewn about and halfway swallowed by the ground. a small arch, with overgrown leaves birthed on its surface, stood intact despite the surrounding ruin. not my first type of find, but this one in particular had a mossy staircase that of course, takes you seemingly nowhere. unless its some kind of fae trap, which im tempted to test.maybe another day. 

someone had walked these stairs atleast once, you know. a prince muttering his last vows before going down for battle, the knight and the princess in their escapade for love, a wanderers resting place when home is lost.theyve gotten lost to time.

im just one among many.im a little bit late, though.

but maybe this is why i do it. to acknowledge whats left and whats past that no one else will remember, because everyones busy looking ahead. striving for a big, briiight future i can imagine. i should probably do the same thing. start planning, start studying, what i want to be and what i want to do. but i dont even know myself well enough to start making decisions. i dont even understand this world yet. how will i know whats good for me? 

nono, i know what to do. i know what i have to do. what im expected to be.

but maybe this is why i do it. maybe this is all ive got.

‎

You would know that, wouldn't you?

Where the Holy Trinity brings salvation, they bring di so rd e r in their path. The observers treat it as faith, as their God.

There are three.

The dead, they might as well be blind, hands roaming and feet thrashing in every direction to find that they are touching nothing. The living searches, reaches, then grasps at their own skin once they find what they were looking for. There should only be one observer, one who carries endless helplessness in chivalry to honor the human nature.

Except, having ears to see and eyes to hear, that is why this entry exists.

A theopany through my blue lights, you will receive this message. Unseal this with a skim from your eyes. I know what you are expecting. It is not him, and north is not the path to go by. This page has no use for you. This testament had already failed. 

I cannot reach you. 

… Hm.

Direction: None.

Distance: Undefined.

Location: theemptinesswillhauntyou

You arrived too early at the

                                                     END.

Location: theemptinesswillhauntyou

Distance: Undefined.

Direction: None.

… Hm.

I cannot reach you. 

A theopany through my blue lights, you will receive this message. Unseal this with a skim from your eyes. I know what you are expecting. It is not him, and north is not your path to go by. This page has no use for you. This testament had already failed. But not for you.

Except, having ears to see and eyes to hear, that is why this entry exists.

The dead, they might as well be blind, hands roaming and feet thrashing in every direction to find that they are touching nothing. The living searches, reaches, then grasps at their own skin once they find what they were looking for. There should be an observer, one who carries endless helplessness in chivalry to honor the human nature.

There are three.

Where the Holy Trinity brings salvation, they bring di so rd e r in their path. The observers treat it as faith, as martyrdom.

                                                                       help me                     

                                  that, wouldn't you                          ? 

                                                                    save yourself                      

You                know

        would 

                      want 

                                 that,

                                         to entertain

                                     our

                          su

                       f

                           f

                       er 

                             i

                     n

                   

            g