12

if every pine tree looks as dead as the other,how will i know if ive walked at all? or if ive stayed at all. was this where i slept?

this is where i slept. carved an X on the trunk i rested my head on, this is where im supposed to be.im okay. imokayimokayimokay i didnt lose myself again.

theres a certain restlessness to these barrens. i feel it more than i know it, i lived it. there are dreams that ive buried here, before i forgot about this place,i just cant find them.

but i always found myself back here in the middle of the night,10 years ago. 

10 years ago, and the 10 times i shouldve died,

i was knocking at my fathers door.

who brought me home?

i like to think it were them but 

i cant recall anything holy or alive striding the dirt, other than my own desperation. was lost and i forgot how to pray. all i knew was running,walking, falling.

theres no way. no way. 

ill keep wandering til the dreams find me. 

(as i keep wondering where he would be.)